Thursday, February 26, 2015

Storytelling for Week 7: Rocky Start

The time had come.  Every moment for the past few thousand years came down to this.  Ravana the undefeated Heavyweight Champion of the entire world would be facing a nobody, small-time boxer Rocky Rama.

This was the event everyone was talking about.  Ravana, one of the greatest ever who had never been defeated, agreed to fight a local boxer.  There were even rumors that Ravana in his earlier years made a deal with the devil to be the greatest boxer ever and that no boxing champion could ever defeat him.  However, there was a tiny detail that the great Ravana overlooked.  He had no protection against a boxer who was not a champion.

When his brother informed him of this teeny-tiny detail Ravana barked in his face, "You really think that anyone who has never won a bout of boxing and has never been proclaimed a champion could ever defeat me at my own game?! AHAHAHA."  He erupted with laughter and Ravana later forgot this conversation.

It wasn't until Ravana's sister, Shurpanakha, met Rocky Rama that this entire ordeal would get started.  After Shurpanakha had an embarrassing stalking incident she soon realized that Rocky Rama was not willing to give up his blossoming relationship with Sita/Adrien to run away with her.

She devised a plan to have Rocky Rama embarrassed in front of the entire nation in the perfect fashion, by getting pummeled by her brother.  Her initial idea was to just have Ravana assault Rocky Rama while walking down a dark alley one night, but that was not humiliating enough.  "No," she thought. "It should be on a grand stage.  And what is more grand than the World Heavyweight Championship bout."  

Her plan really took off from there.  All she had to do was bruise her brother's ego and then convince him to fight a local challenger who had never won a fight before and that's how it all got started.

Finally, it was Diwali and the two opponents were in the ring squaring off.  Ravana did nothing special to prepare for this fight and wears his arrogance as a cape, while Rocky Rama has been waiting his entire life to finally go the distance with the King of Boxing.

Immediately into the bout Rocky Rama unexpectedly knocks down Ravana with his first punch.  This embarrasses Ravana and the match turns tense.  Both fighters sustain massive injuries while the match lasts for 15 rounds, the longest Ravana has gone without knocking out his opponent in his career as a boxer.

Finally after 15 rounds Ravana just can't take it anymore and falls to the floor with a final punch from Rocky Rama.  The crowd goes wild and rushes into the ring to congratulate Rocky Rama who just screams for his loving girlfriend.  And so ends the epic tale of how Rama defeated Ravana.

Rocky poster.jpg
(Rocky theatrical poster from Wikipedia.)

Author's Note:  When I started this story, I had no idea it would turn into a Rocky Balboa fan fiction. haha. But it somehow did.  I think I wrote it this way because I originally wanted to write about Ravana and Rama's final battle and then I made an association between the battle between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed.  I feel like my stories have been a little depressing lately and have dealt with sadness, so I wanted to write something that was lighter and a little more fun.  Sorry if this was just super bizarre.  It's been a weird week.

Bibliography -
Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way.


  1. Jenny,

    your adaptation of Ravana and Rama's battle into a boxing match was flawless! I laughed out loud when I read that part about Ravana not having protection against a boxer who wasn't a champion. That was very clever!

    I would have liked to see more in your author's note! Remember to summarize the original story you are retelling (in this case, I think it would be both the one from the "Ramayana" and "Rocky"). Tell us about what changes you made and why. I think you have to formally cite the movie "Rocky", since you adapted it's characters and plot line a little bit.

    As far as editing goes, your format was great. Just enough dialogue and commentary. Grammatically, the biggest issue was comma usage. I would suggest looking up Laura's grammar pages about when to use a comma, because there were a lot missing here. I think where you struggle the most is when there are two independent clauses. When you have two clauses that could be a sentence on their own, but you want to combine them, that's when you add a comma.

    "Ravana the undefeated Heavyweight Champion of the entire world would be..." - you have an extra space before "Ravana", and there should be comas after "Ravana" and after "world", because "the undefeated Heavyweight Champion of the entire world" is a clause describing Ravana.

    "...small-time boxer Rocky Rama." - should change, either to "small-time boxer: Rocky Rama." or "small-time boxer called Rocky Rama".

    "...of this teeny-tiny detail Ravana barked..." - need a coma between "detail" and "Ravana".

    "stalking incident she soon..." - need a comma between "Incident" and "she".

    "Sita/Adrien" - I get that you're trying to let the reader know that Sita is supposed to be the equivalent to Adrien's character, but putting the names like that with a slash doesn't really look good. Maybe try coming up with a hybrid of their names?

    1. I should clarify (because this is a mistake I often make myself):

      When I said that in two independent clauses are in one sentence, you should add a comma, that is not your only option!! You can put them into two separate sentences. However, if you do add a comma, you have to also put a conjunction. For example: "Rama was going to fight Ravana, AND he was determined to win". These are two independent clauses in one sentence, but there has to be a conjunction (and, but, etc.) as well. I make the mistake of not adding one a lot, and didn't want to give you wrong advice!

  2. Jenny,

    I love this story! My dad would always watch the Rocky movies when I was a kid, so I enjoyed your adaptation of the battle between Rama and Ravana in the setting of a boxing match. I like how you still incorporated Shurpanakha as the cause of it all.

    I've never really taken a story from the book and told it in a different or modern setting. It seems like it would be a lot of fun and I think I will try it with one of the stories in The Mahabharata.

    Great job on your story!

  3. Hi Jenny! I love this story. It was really interesting to read the point of view of the story by flip flopping perspectives. At times it made it kind of confusing, but you did a really great job! I like how you gave it a modern topic so the readers from this era could make sense of the events. I don't really like wrestling, but this is an awesome analogy of the fight between Rama and Ravana. Great work!

  4. Hi Jenny! I really enjoyed how your story had so many allusions to the original story, but with your own modern twist. I also love that you call it a Rocky Balboa fan fiction. I’ve never seen the movie, but you did a great job with incorporating the themes of both stories. There were a few minor issues that I noticed as I was reading. In the second paragraph, you use “ever” quite a few times, and it seemed a bit redundant. When you described the fight, you mentioned that Ravana “wears his arrogance as a cape,” and perhaps it would be better if it was “like a cape” instead. Overall, I enjoyed reading your story!