tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.comments2017-01-04T16:11:38.320-06:00The Epic Diorama About the Tales of RamaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05028610884267053938noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-89435174448949580192017-01-04T16:11:38.320-06:002017-01-04T16:11:38.320-06:00Wonderful. Vegas is a pretty crazy place to be. Go...Wonderful. Vegas is a pretty crazy place to be. Good for you!<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />JAnonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14255937960370650441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-68702733721717134622015-04-29T16:48:14.778-05:002015-04-29T16:48:14.778-05:00Hey Jenny!
Wow, what a cool idea for a storybook....Hey Jenny!<br /><br />Wow, what a cool idea for a storybook. I can tell that you put a lot of time into the planning of your stories, setting and characters. I liked that you chose to keep the layout of your storybook simplistic. Some projects that I've read have backgrounds that are really busy and it distracts from their writing. I also liked the picture you put on the homepage of the woman. It made me wonder about who she is and eager to learn about her story.<br /><br />I read your introduction and your first story, Spring Flowers. I thought that your sentences flowed nicely and your paragraphs were organized well throughout. I liked that you included some dialogue in the story because it helped me get to know the characters on a deeper level. Also. the quotes help break up the paragraphs and made it easier for me to read.<br /><br />Overall, great job! Have a great summer!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16761756452624362535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-74696180584350392172015-04-27T19:31:17.178-05:002015-04-27T19:31:17.178-05:00Jenny, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Yo...Jenny, I really enjoyed reading your storybook. Your introduction reads very well and intrigues the audience from the beginning. Also, your writing ability holds the attention of the audience all the way through your work which can be very hard to do for some readers. There is a reason this is one of the class favorite;s as it was by far one of the betters all around storybook's that I have read. As others have said Greek mythology was one my favorite topics i have studied throughout my life so it was very cool to see how you tied together greek mythology and our course. Ver nice job! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16302649810448216615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-4679626824252017272015-04-27T10:13:56.043-05:002015-04-27T10:13:56.043-05:00Hello Jenny. I really enjoyed the introduction of ...Hello Jenny. I really enjoyed the introduction of your storybook. You did a great job grabbing the reader's attention and perking our curiosity. You word choice is very descriptive which makes it very easy to visualize your story. I read the spring flowers story. This is probably the best storybook I have read yet in my opinion. I love Greek mythology and I think it is so cool how you blended these two great topics together. What a great idea it was to show the similarity between Sita and Persephone. You did a really great job making the reader want more. Your picture fit perfectly for your story. The story flowed very well and didn’t contain any errors that I could find. Congratulations on making it to the top storybook list. You definitely earned it. I can tell you put a lot of thought into your storybook. I couldn’t wait to hear what happened next. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14463506189910042946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-21066062259536322522015-04-26T23:12:20.680-05:002015-04-26T23:12:20.680-05:00Hello Jenny! I visited your storybook before, but ...Hello Jenny! I visited your storybook before, but decided to come back and read more stories from you. Again, I love your storybook! It is so pretty and matches the stories very well.I read the last story of yours called "spring blossoms". I like how you used quotations and the sentence structure was great!<br /><br />I like how you put the characters together. I thought it was very creative how you included the Greek mythology and Indian epics together. The character of Persephone and Sita are a little different, but you made them work together very well.<br />I enjoyed reading your author's note because it really felt like you were speaking to the audience. It thoroughly described how you wrote the story and how you felt about it. <br /><br />My favorite line from the story is "From that day on every flower blossomed in the garden healthily basking in sunlight. The plethora of colors and shapes painted the countryside." The imagery your created was incredible! Good job!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14374566317078976384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-57720763564779149022015-04-26T11:09:01.794-05:002015-04-26T11:09:01.794-05:00What a fun storybook! I thought the concept and t...What a fun storybook! I thought the concept and theme of your blog was really fun and unique. I haven’t seen anybody base their stories off of space or use that as a theme so I thought that was cool that you decided to go this route. It looks like you put a lot of work into your blog and it definitely showed. Even the font you used looks very extraterrestrial. All the little elements of your site really come together to make it fit your overall theme for the blog. I also thought the images you chose for all of your stories were really cool as well and kind of out of this world. Anyways, great job with your blog and congrats on being nominated and winning for one of the best storybooks in your class! Your effort really showed and your blog turned out really great! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06723754829877504917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-53076653828831174512015-04-23T17:36:15.625-05:002015-04-23T17:36:15.625-05:00Hey Jenny,
I really like your storybook topic, it&...Hey Jenny,<br />I really like your storybook topic, it's so unique. Bringing together two characters like Persephone and Sita was really smart and they fit together so well! The title of the book also fits together so perfectly with what Persephone and Sita represent. Your website theme looks great, and fits perfectly with your storybook topic as well. You did a great job setting up this website, it's simple, easy to read and looks great!<br />The story I chose to read was Spring Flower because I wanted to get a feel for what your storybook was all about and figure out how Persephone and Sita came to meet in the first place. This story is very easy to read, flows well and doesn’t have any errors as far as I can tell! I’m really curious as to how Persephone came to be near Lanka, and exactly what she’s going to tell Sita about her story. This is extremely creative. Great job!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05889698860511772046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-55164059848684611042015-04-12T20:04:04.243-05:002015-04-12T20:04:04.243-05:00Hey Jenny,
From the very beginning I really like...Hey Jenny, <br /> From the very beginning I really liked how your story had to do with Spring that the color scheme is different colors of green. It reminded me of a beautiful garden filled with flowers of all different kings. I also really liked the picture of the woman at the very beginning as well. The picture had her with a basket of flowers and I think fit your book nicely. I believe once I ended up reading your story that the lady is Sita. I like how you incorporated the lotus into the story. I think that was a huge part of Sita’s story. You also added in your story about Sita’s abduction and how the man that abduction her is in fact her husband now. Crazy how things like that end up happening. Overall, I think that I am really going to like your stories. I hope that I get the opportunity to read all of them.<br />Kelsey Selighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15623496966551418269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-10487327292791772772015-04-12T16:57:01.198-05:002015-04-12T16:57:01.198-05:00Jenny,
I’m super jealous of your Easter egg hunt!...Jenny,<br /><br />I’m super jealous of your Easter egg hunt! I feel your pain on not getting to see your sister very often. I basically only see my family on bigger breaks (winter, just a week of summer, thanksgiving, and sometimes spring break). I’ve really grown to cherish my family time. <br /><br />Cool you’re taking Mythology and Folklore! I’m sure it will be as awesome as this class!<br /><br />Your family photo is very nice :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04019195036744534724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-59869521090253297692015-04-12T15:40:01.004-05:002015-04-12T15:40:01.004-05:00Hi Jenny,
I'm back again! Here are my commen...Hi Jenny, <br /><br />I'm back again! Here are my comments for your storybook "Spring Blossoms". I'm glad you made Persephone ask Sita if she would ever considering submitting to Ravana, since that is what she did to her own abductor. While I'm glad Sita stuck to her convictions, I think that conversation could have gone a lot deeper. It seems Persephone would probably prod a little more rather than just accept Sita's answer. <br /><br />The two women together have a really interesting dynamic. Both share experiences that most people would never have, and yet they seem like very different people. You did a nice job with your storybook. Congratulations on finishing it! <br /><br />"Most girls would be insulted to live with a husband, who could rightfully be king, in a small wooded abode but not me." - I'd suggest revising this a little bit, since it's a little awkward and wordy. Perhaps you could try "Most girls would be insulted to live in a small home in the woods when they should, rightfully, be with their husband in the palace. But I always enjoyed that time with Rama."<br /><br />"The gods thought so too, because they willed him to be the only man who could compete an impossible task so I became his bride.” - needs to be a comma before "too". I think "compete" is supposed to be "complete". Rather than "so", try "in order for me to become his bride". <br /><br />"He’s the only man I have ever known to be always be faithful to his wife." - need to remove one of the "be"s, either before or after "always". <br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01507791026665263390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-41649495416177330812015-04-12T13:50:44.247-05:002015-04-12T13:50:44.247-05:00Hi Jennifer, I really like the first page of your ...Hi Jennifer, I really like the first page of your storybook and the background, I think it goes very nicely with the title of the storybook. I loved your introduction, but at the end when it just leaves off I think it should have a little more to it, it feels as though (and I promise I'm not saying this to be judgy or rude or anything, it's just the impression I got) you reached the word count you needed and just stopped, rather than leaving off at a better place. Perhaps you could give us a little more information about who Persephone is and what the storybook will be about? Your first story doesn't feel like a story, but rather the rest of your introduction. If you added this in to the introduction page and then started your story where Persephone's story began, that would make it feel much more finished and thought out. Your second story is good. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16864309622924726020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-77821815024187960962015-04-06T12:09:35.459-05:002015-04-06T12:09:35.459-05:00Hey Jenny!
I'm going to start off with the m...Hey Jenny! <br /><br />I'm going to start off with the main page of your storybook. I really love the image as well as the colors! The green background makes it look very much like Spring and the artwork on the main page makes it look even more 'spring-like' so job well done there! Your font is really great too and so is your entire theme.<br /><br />I read the Spring Flowers story and I am slightly familiar with the Persephone story and definitely loved how you mixed those two legends, makes it really cool. I love the whole flowers concept you're playing with, because someone who loves flowers and learning all about them. The back and forth between Sita and Persephone is great! <br /><br />I was interested what was going to unfold after I read your title "Girls in Spring" ... it reminded me of girls hitting puberty for some reason :D but regardless I'm glad I entered and read your stories! Love them all so good job!K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08290562964554006459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-38524476837616665852015-04-05T22:09:35.180-05:002015-04-05T22:09:35.180-05:00Hi Jenny,
Starting off with your introduction, I w...Hi Jenny,<br />Starting off with your introduction, I was instantly sucked in. I was not sure what your story was going to be about with the label “girls of spring” so I just decided to wing it and read. Like I said, the intro sucked me in!! I like how Sita was out in the garden talking about how her life in Lanka was a terrible nightmare when Persephone arrived. It was really cute that you added how she came to see the lotus flowers in the spring. I personally have an obsession with lotus flowers because of the beautiful message behind them! I love how Sita explained her situation about being abducted by her husband and how Persephone responded. She was also abducted but the man is her husband now. I am looking forward to reading your next story and I wonder if Sita will consider giving in to Ravana’s request. Great story and originality!! <br />courtneysearleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09669318899555398262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-77228403989703646122015-04-05T11:03:02.728-05:002015-04-05T11:03:02.728-05:00Comments for Storybook
"Spring Awakening&quo...Comments for Storybook<br /><br />"Spring Awakening"<br /><br />I read your other story "Spring Flowers" a few weeks ago and have been waiting for you to add another story! I was really interested in seeing where you went with it. <br /><br />Well I have to say, I was definitely NOT expecting you to take that route with Persephone! Her story was exactly like Sita's and in the original story, she hated her abductor and never had any qualms with her mother. I think you should add the details of the original story of Persephone to your authors note and then explain why you made the changes to it. <br /><br />Having the tweak in Persephone's story definitely is an interesting contrast to Sita's situation and how she could have dealt with being abducted. I wonder, did you write this thinking that Sita SHOULD have accepted and lived with Ravana, or just point out that it was an option for her. Is one woman better than the other for making the decision they did? <br /><br />Edits:<br /><br />"... she still stood and used the whole garden to elaborate her tale." - "elaborate" doesn't quite seem like the right word. Perhaps you could try "recount", "relate", "chronicle"<br /><br />"I exclaimed with my thoughts filled with an enchanting forest..." - using "with" sounds redundant. Perhaps try "I exclaimed as my thought filled with pictures of an enchanting forest..."<br /><br />"...what she originally gave me, a life." - try a colon rather than a comma here. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01507791026665263390noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-70061367807523051802015-04-01T18:05:51.237-05:002015-04-01T18:05:51.237-05:00Jenny,
This post is in response to your story tit...Jenny,<br /><br />This post is in response to your story titled "Spring Awakening." It seems like Persephone was, to some degree, protected from all of the austerities of the real world. Why is it that many storybook characters are raised this way?<br />So it turned out that her mother had no choice but to keep her in the garden? Ah! <br />I think that if you would have elaborated on just what the “abundant wildlife” was, then you could have made your story so much more rich and captivating. I mean, it has the plot of a great tale – don’t get me wrong – but I think it could have been much more ‘vibrant’ if you would have elaborated. <br />I enjoy the fact that these two characters, from seemingly opposite sides of the world, end up together conversing. <br />Thanks for including the links; they both provided another dimension of Persephone’s character.<br />I read a story of yours a few weeks back and I was excited to come back and read some more. You did not disappoint – well done!<br /><br />lanceramoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13040260060559365607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-74579345172011985012015-03-30T10:38:51.069-05:002015-03-30T10:38:51.069-05:00Hello Jennifer!
I enjoyed visiting and reading yo...Hello Jennifer!<br /><br />I enjoyed visiting and reading your storybook! I like the green layout and the flowers at the top of the website. The website looks very good! I read your introduction and it gave a handful amount of details on how the storybook is going to be. <br /><br />I read your story "spring Awakening" and I thought it was really interesitn how you combined the two different epics. Your story did an awesome job on presenting Sita. Because Sita went throught a lot during her life, there were enough detail to describe how she felt on the inside. <br /><br />The flow of the sentence was great and your writing skills is great! The pictures you put on the introduction page was so elegant. On your story, the lotus flow was so beautiful! I enjoyed reading your author's note and thought it was really cool how Sita's name meant furrow.<br /><br />Great story!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14374566317078976384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-40340235012963173392015-03-30T10:25:25.567-05:002015-03-30T10:25:25.567-05:00Hey!
Great addition to your storybook! Today I rea...Hey!<br />Great addition to your storybook! Today I read and reviewed “Spring Awakening”. This story did add a lot in the way of explaining why you chose these two characters. I like that Sita’s internal thoughts are included, as well. You did a wonderful job! Your story is clear, has good sentence flow, and a great picture!<br />Below are a few corrections for you to consider:<br />In the first paragraph, “I sat down on the ground to listen as she still stood and used the whole garden to elaborate her tale.” You might want to remove the word “still”, or put it after the word “stood. I am not totally sure, at first I thought you meant to say she was standing still, not moving. But now that I have seen the entire sentence, it seems you are saying she moves around: “used the whole garden”. If that is the case, I would just remove the word “still”.<br />In the paragraph beginning with, “A sad smile” you might change, “It was. For a while.” To this, “It was, for a while. You still get the pause effect, without having a fragment.<br />In your author’s note, “Both links will help break down her origin as she is Greek mythology's explanation for the seasons.” I would add a comma after “origin” and before “as”.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15524585204065558615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-49025519165257674582015-03-30T08:14:04.700-05:002015-03-30T08:14:04.700-05:00I really enjoyed the concept of your storybook! I ...I really enjoyed the concept of your storybook! I think it is a challenge to combine two different legends from very different times in a cohesive manner. But so far you are doing a great job! On your welcoming page, it is pretty but I have absolutely no idea what I am reading. Maybe add some sort of caption with your picture (which is great by the way) in order to make it more immediately apparent what your storybook is concerned with. Again, your introduction left me feeling a little confused as to what I walking into. However, your writing is excellent. The way you described Persephone’s feet being dyed from walking among the earth was beautiful. And the way you described Sita’s once yellow sari being stained with dirt was good as well. Excellent writing and I cannot wait to see how these two legends mesh together in the future!Mariellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17750188986652218777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-57913824537633915252015-03-30T02:18:56.735-05:002015-03-30T02:18:56.735-05:00Hello Jennifer! I am commenting on your blog desi...Hello Jennifer! I am commenting on your blog design and layout! I've seen several people use the background you have and I think its pretty cool looking. You have a organized layout which makes it easier for the readers to navigate the blog. You might want to readjust the size of the side menu bar to make it more equal. The color match between the font color and the background color is great! Nice blog :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14374566317078976384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-4143869350748331182015-03-29T19:58:50.465-05:002015-03-29T19:58:50.465-05:00Hi again, Jennifer! I was excited to continue read...Hi again, Jennifer! I was excited to continue reading your storybook when I saw you had posted a new story since last time I had read it. <br /><br />I thought you did a great job with this story as well! You did a great job describing Persephone's story as well as Sita's experience and thoughts while listening to Persephone talk. The entire story flows very well and it's easy to read with your paragraph breaks. I also didn't notice any grammar or punctuation errors.<br /><br />I think your story book has been my favorite so far in the class. Really good job!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07976857651667021953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-21083541613081698602015-03-27T23:16:14.553-05:002015-03-27T23:16:14.553-05:00Jennifer,
I am very excited since this will be th...Jennifer,<br /><br />I am very excited since this will be the first time that I have visited your project. The layout and theme of the site really compliments the style and topic that you have projected to have chosen. Your introduction is well written and the flow of the text is great. The ending of your intro is suspenseful, and I was not expecting the turn in events that you have chosen to implement. I couldn't wait to move on to your first story. <br /><br />I love love love Greek mythology and knew who Persephone was when I read her name. I do know of her background and how Hades had kidnapped, and tricked, her into staying with him in the underworld. I am very excited to read more of you storybook in the future. You have such a creative idea that you have presented here, I seriously admire and have to applaud you. I know I sound like such a dork, but I if I haven't made it clear I love Greek mythology. Hopefully with Persephone's stories, Sita will be a little relaxed during her time in waiting for Rama. Liza Whitakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15282740118226977472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-69012742655338618012015-03-22T20:17:29.387-05:002015-03-22T20:17:29.387-05:00I definitely share the love of traveling with you....I definitely share the love of traveling with you. But I love the journey. I love the excitement and the experiences that come along the way before getting to the destination. The only thing I don't like about traveling is the journey back home. <br /><br />I loved reading your introduction. You are very good at putting your thoughts into words. I hope your study abroad in Spain goes well. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17288955157734801542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-32829887148416323202015-03-22T19:57:37.939-05:002015-03-22T19:57:37.939-05:00Jenny,
I enjoyed reading your story. I liked your ...Jenny,<br />I enjoyed reading your story. I liked your idea of taking a part of the original story that was very brief. The title you chose was very clever; it definitely seems like the king had a bad omen since he couldn't find a hunt and everything after meeting Ganga went to the crazy events in the Mahabharata. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17288955157734801542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-43933734860197381062015-03-22T19:46:21.710-05:002015-03-22T19:46:21.710-05:00I never want spring break to end! I agree all of m...I never want spring break to end! I agree all of my professors are pretty cruel, I have two exams and a presentation also. I even had to turn assignments in online over the break. You week does sound crazy, but I know you will make it through fine! I have always wanted to go to Las Vegas, and I hope to get there soon! It’s pretty cool that you were picked to go on stage, I hope you had a blast!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14371348040644449871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3235824056531534648.post-66386876189736892072015-03-22T17:27:07.050-05:002015-03-22T17:27:07.050-05:00Hello again!
I am stuck in the same exact situatio...Hello again!<br />I am stuck in the same exact situation as you! I have SO MUCH STUFF due this week!! <br />It’s so awesome you got to see you friends, spend time with your family, AND see Las Vegas all in one trip! I would love to see Las Vegas, but I figure it isn’t worth the trip until I am old enough to gamble there. I’ll be twenty-one in less than a month, though! I bet the comedy club was super exciting for you! I would have been SO awkward; I am NOT a crowd person, haha. I hope you had fun!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15524585204065558615noreply@blogger.com